God's Children

A lady I met online made this video. I really liked it and thought I would share.

News

When I started this journey, I pretty much had no idea what I was doing. And I certainly had no idea what God was doing. After getting our referral in February and waiting and waiting and waiting and praying that we would be able to bring our little girl home. There have been many times I've wanted to question God and His ways. Many times that I felt that God had forgotten us and wasn't hearing our prayers. But he has shown us that He indeed has heard our prayers and indeed has been working. Though the whole story would be too long to write out, we believe that God has called us not to adopt one baby, but to adopt two. That's right! We are adopting another child. We started the paperwork and are on the waitlist for another baby between 0-18 months, either gender. We have no idea when either child will come home and it's quite possible that we may have to travel twice. But we are so excited! I feel very cofident that this is the path God has for us. And it was the plan from the beginning...we just didn't know it! I'll post again later and share more about how God lead us to this decision. For now I just want to leave you with this verse once again:

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21

Unlikely

The most recent update is that the Ministry Of Womens Affairs (MOWA) has closed for two weeks. That means people who had court dates in the next two weeks will be postponed. Which means the likelihood of anyone not already in process, getting a court date, is pretty much zero.
In our case. The official is finally ready to sign the document we need and now the birth mother is missing. She has to be there when they sign the document. So we're waiting for the same document, for a different reason now. So pray they find the birth mom. I am hoping that our case will at least be ready for court by the time they re-open.
I expected to fall apart once I knew that we definitely wouldn't be getting in before the court closed. But God is moving. He knows exactly when Violet is going to come home and He is the one leading us on this journey. I will keep my eyes fixed on Him.

Going Crazy

Sometimes I feel like a crazy person. My emotions are all over the place. And as I try not to be controlled by them. Sometimes I wonder if it's making me more crazy. I can swing from feeling peaceful and trusting in God's sovereignty to overwhelming frustration in the matter of moments. I'm constantly trying to keep my emotions at bay. And it's exhausting.
Today I was already feeling frustrated again about the adoption when I learned that I need to re-do my fingerprints because they expire soon. And if we don't travel before September we will have to update our Homestudy. Which will be an additional cost. So needless to say I felt so much more cheery after hearing that. (Do you hear the sarcasm in my voice) It's not so much about the money. It's that we're waiting and waiting and then to add insult to injury, we've waited so long some of our paperwork is going to expire. Can we just get passed this already!
I can't describe the ache in my heart. I want to hold her in my arms more than anything. I want to look into her eyes. And sing her songs. I want to rock her and read to her and kiss her cheeks. I want her. I want her. I want her.

Trusting God

What a journey this is. I never fathomed that I would still be waiting but here I am. This was a great week but a hard day. This week I listened to a sermon series on Trusting God. It was a study on the book of Habakuk. It challenged me SO much. He talked about so much of what God has already been teaching me, but said it all in a much better way.
Part of me wants to question God. Part of me wants to be mad at God. Why doesn't he answer my prayer and miraculously process my paperwork so I can get my baby? If God's heart is for adoption then why can't I adopt my baby? Sometimes I feel like God has forgotten my case. Sometimes I feel like God is witholding good from me. My mind knows the answers. But sometimes my heart doesn't listen to my mind. But when I am in the midst of this storm. When all I can see is what's going on right here, in my life. And I am still waiting. I don't have the whole picture. I have limited information and limited perspective. And that's when I have to rely on what I KNOW about God. I know that God does hear my prayers and is answering. He is working in Ethiopia, He is working for the cause of the orphan, and He hasn't forgotten. God IS faithful. God IS Just. And God IS good. When my heart wants to question God and be angry. That's when I need to preach to my heart. Because in God's character there is fullness of Joy. I think I need my baby now. But God is doing something so much bigger than me and my ideas. I'm not suggesting that it's not okay for me to be sad. I'm not pretending that it's not painful. But my hope must be in God. He works for His glory and for our good. I will know God's blessing in the end. If my hope is in Him. Because whether I get what I want or not. God's character does not change. And in God there is fullness of Joy.

Habakuk 3:17-18
"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior."

A Song

This song has been particularly meaningful to me lately. So I thought I'd share the Lyrics with you.

Blessed is the One
by Daniel Doss Band

Blessed is the one who trusts you
Like a tree that cannot be moved
You say jump to arms wide open
I am scared but I am willing

For blessed is the one
Blessed is the one who trusts in you
Faithful, Just, and Good
Shepherd of my heart
Lead me to where you are

I remember all your goodness
Suffering through the desert places
You never said it would be easy
You just promised you'd be with me

For blessed is the one
Blessed is the one who trust in you
Faithful, Just, and Good
Shepherd of my heart
Lead me to where you are
You who holds my destiny
I follow foolishly
Your love will be my song
So I will trust you

I will trust you in the pain
When I can't see past today
When it's hard to lift my hands to praise you
I will trust you

More Lessons

So as not to lose all of my blog followers I thought I should post something. Our adoption is still in the same place. We've been waiting on one piece of paper for about a month now. And we have no idea when that is going to happen.
Over the last several weeks God has really given me a lot of peace. I still have bad days but I've been much less consumed by the whole process. God continues to teach me SO SO much. And he continues to surround me by people who are so supportive and are standing in the gap and interceding for us.

I often don't know what to pray. Do I pray with faith that God will bring her home before the courts close? He hasn't promised me that. But he says to pray and believe it will happen. And that sometimes we have not because we ask not. But he also says to pray according to God's will. I don't know what God's will is. So I cling to this verse:
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8:26&27

The promise I DO have is this: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son..." Romans 8:28&29
God promises to work all things out for our good. And I cling to the knowledge that God is good. But he has opened my eyes in a new way to His goodness. God promises to work things out for our good, meaning to be conformed to the likeness of His son (as verse 29 states). God IS good and my ultimate good is not getting what I want. It is being conformed to His image. Psalms 73:28 "But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds."

God has truly stretched my faith and stretched my understanding of Him. And for that I am thankful.