What a journey this is. I never fathomed that I would still be waiting but here I am. This was a great week but a hard day. This week I listened to a sermon series on Trusting God. It was a study on the book of Habakuk. It challenged me SO much. He talked about so much of what God has already been teaching me, but said it all in a much better way.
Part of me wants to question God. Part of me wants to be mad at God. Why doesn't he answer my prayer and miraculously process my paperwork so I can get my baby? If God's heart is for adoption then why can't I adopt my baby? Sometimes I feel like God has forgotten my case. Sometimes I feel like God is witholding good from me. My mind knows the answers. But sometimes my heart doesn't listen to my mind. But when I am in the midst of this storm. When all I can see is what's going on right here, in my life. And I am still waiting. I don't have the whole picture. I have limited information and limited perspective. And that's when I have to rely on what I KNOW about God. I know that God does hear my prayers and is answering. He is working in Ethiopia, He is working for the cause of the orphan, and He hasn't forgotten. God IS faithful. God IS Just. And God IS good. When my heart wants to question God and be angry. That's when I need to preach to my heart. Because in God's character there is fullness of Joy. I think I need my baby now. But God is doing something so much bigger than me and my ideas. I'm not suggesting that it's not okay for me to be sad. I'm not pretending that it's not painful. But my hope must be in God. He works for His glory and for our good. I will know God's blessing in the end. If my hope is in Him. Because whether I get what I want or not. God's character does not change. And in God there is fullness of Joy.
Habakuk 3:17-18
"Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior."
6 years ago
1 comments:
I am so glad you decided to write about this challenging point in your adoption! No matter how many times one of us says, "Hang in there" or "it will happen", it just doesn't do anything to make you feel better. Truly, the only place to turn is our heavenly Father - who has a good plan for you, Sam and baby. Keep writing - you may be surprised how much you learn as you write things out.
Post a Comment