Being a mom

I'm sorry that I am not good at keeping up with my blog as much. There are so many times that I think, I want to post about this on my blog, but time gets away from me. Going from one kid to two has been much harder than I imagined. But there is no doubt in my mind that Tytus was totally meant to be a part of our family. He has been home 2 months now. And it is finally starting to feel normal instead of new.

Being a mom has been an amazing experience. It is a huge blessing, a huge challenge, it's sweet and frustrating and rewarding and so many other things. Never in my life have I NEEDED to read my Bible as much as I do these days. Children have a way of revealing the true state of your heart. When I haven't read my Bible, the ugliness of who I actually am comes out. I want my kids to see Christ, and not me. I can't be a good mom without Him. There have been many times I've thought to myself, I thought I would be able to do this. I thought I would be this ever patient, fun, sunshine of a mom. And I'm shocked to see this irritable impatient ugly person come out. And once again I'm thankful that God's mercies are new every morning. And God reminds me that I cannot be good on my own. It is only He that makes me good. I need Him, I need His word, like I need food and water.

I'm thankful that God continues to show me how much I need Him. How much this life is about Him and not me. More than ever I want him to chisel away at me, even when it hurts. And conform me to His image. The world needs Him, the world does not need me.